April 26, 2019 at 2:38pm was a moment that changed everything. I write this 5 weeks later when I can truly feel the impact of her on our lives & our hearts. Looking back on the days before her seem like both yesterday yet also a lifetime ago. I really can’t explain it – time goes by a lot differently now but it sure is sweet.
Rewind to a week before her arrival, I woke up one day and could feel contractions happening. We called my doctor who had us come in to be monitored and ended up admitting us to the hospital for early signs of labor. They kept us overnight saying that even though it was 4 weeks before my due date, that if I went into active labor they wouldn’t stop it. SCARY! Plus, I dilated to a 4 during our stay. I was not expecting all this that morning when we went in to see my doctor. The contractions stopped thankfully once they got me nice and hydrated and they sent us home the following afternoon. This also was a blessing because they gave me steroid shots that would help our baby’s lung development in the event she came early – which she did!
For that next week I was on semi bed rest and was supposed to take it nice and easy until the day I hit 37 weeks. I wasn’t the best at this and the nesting really kicked in since her arrival seemed so much sooner, but I did lay off my feet and stay home as much as possible.
On the morning of April 26th, I was 36 weeks and 5 days, so just two days short of the happy spot of 37 weeks that they wanted me to get to. I woke up that morning and felt super normal. I was just laying in bed checking my phone and slowly waking up. Al was working out so I was home alone. At 7:09am I felt and heard this little, faint pop sound and instantly thought my water might have broke but nothing came pouring out. I stayed laying down for another minute and then went to get up and felt a little trickle. My mind honestly started racing because I always pictured this huge gush when my water broke and as I walked into the bathroom it was just dripping down my leg. My doctor had told me this was common too so I immediately started calling Al. After two failed attempts, I called our best friend who just had a baby last year asking her if she thought my water was breaking, which she did, and in the middle of our conversation Al finally called me back. I think he knew right away when he saw two missed calls from me this early. Thankfully he was already on his way home and was just about 5 minutes away so I called the hospital and they told me to come in. I wish I had recorded our phone conversation and all our dialog that morning because it was just all over the place – pretty clear we had no idea what we were doing 😂
Funny little detail – it had been about 4 days since I had last washed my hair and all that kept going through my mind was that I was going to have the most gnarly / greasy hair and then be stuck in the hospital with it for a few days (assuming I didn’t want to wash it there). So when I was on the phone with the hospital I asked them if I had time to shower and wash my hair 😂 I wasn’t contracting yet so they actually said yes and like the diva I am…I washed, dried, and even threw a few curls into my hair. When Al got home I was jumping in the shower and told him I had to before I got admitted for a few days and I think he was actually going crazy watching me get ready since he was in the middle of such an adrenaline rush haha. But I did go really fast!! I was not taking my sweet time!
Contractions started so we jumped in the car and made our way there. Within a few minutes of checking in they admitted us to a room since they verified that my water had broke and I was dilated to a 6.5. An epidural was ordered basically immediately, my orders of course, and family started showing up. We decided that both my mom and Al’s mom were going to be in the room so they got there pretty quickly so they wouldn’t miss any of the ‘pushing’. The timing of all this happening first thing in the morning was a huge blessing because. I was actually able to call my mom and stop her from commuting into Seattle for the day (about 45 minutes away with no traffic), and also called my dad who was driving up to Everett, (about an hour and a half away), and stopped him too! The next few hours were actually really fun and enjoyable for me. My epidural was making me so relaxed and everyone was in the absolute best mood. A few friends and family got to come back and say hi to me since we weren’t in complete active labor yet so it was a treat to get to see them all before all the intense stuff began.
Come about 12:30pm I was dilated to a 10 and it was time to push. Al knew that when this time came that I really wanted my worship playlist going – I listened to it my whole pregnancy and it was my time to talk with God about our baby and this new season, often getting emotional to it, so having those songs I’d been listening to for months playing made me feel so strong and empowered. His presence was truly there ❤️ I hadn’t taken a birthing class or anything so when it came time to push I was kind of learning as I go. For me personally, ignorance was bliss with the whole thing and I don’t regret that. It worked for me.
Those next two hours were the most intense of my life. There were times I felt like I wasn’t progressing at all and even a moment I almost asked if I could stop. I’m unsure if my epidural wore off or if the pain was so intense that I could feel it even with the pain meds, but I’ve heard some moms say that they really couldn’t feel a thing with it and that wasn’t my experience. I was for sure in pain more towards the end and will admit I was starting to freak out a little. Eventually my nurse got all up in my face and really started pushing me to finish this so I can meet my baby and that motivation was honestly exactly what I needed and it helped me bring our gorgeous baby girl into the world at 2:38pm. ❤️
Blair came out with the sweetest cry and the entire room was full of emotions I had truly never felt or witnessed in my entire life. Looking into my husband’s eyes and over at our moms was a moment so special to me and one I won’t forget. Al cut her umbilical cord and then she was placed right on my chest. Looking back I think I was actually in complete shock and couldn’t even fully process what was happening, how much my life had changed in that moment, and how much this girl would impact me forever. The feeling of love towards her grows every day even when I think it’s at it’s maximum. It’s a new love that I’ve never known.
There were tons of family waiting to meet her that all came into the room after I finished my first feed with her and to see how many people loved her the minute she was born was the absolute best feeling I could ask for as her mom. We stayed in the hospital the remainder of that weekend learning as much as we could and bonding with our newest addition, then got to take her home on Sunday. I think for me walking her into our home was when it felt like it truly hit that this baby girl that I have dreamed of my entire life was alive, here, and ours.
I can’t wait to go through every single stage of life with her – easy and hard. And I can’t wait to see the girl and woman she’s going to grow up to be. I hope she comes back and finds posts like this that I’ve written and knows how much I love her down to my core. You’re my world B.
